My first brush with this ceremony involved pork noodles. Gloriously saucy udon noodles with pulled pork and a soft, runny egg. It was decadent and sensual and perfect. I couldn’t think of, and frankly still can’t, something better to eat as the rest of the city sleeps.

I was back home during winter break from college, puttering around downtown Portland late on a weeknight with little care for my disposition the next morning. I found myself at the dark, funky, albeit a little loud, Saucebox (R.I.P.) in Old Town. On the menu was a late night happy hour. Is this allowed? I wondered. It was early in my bar going career and such a thing seemed to defy what I’d known to be true. Perhaps this is what adulting looks like, I naively thought to myself while slurping down my bowl of noodles. Though that was certainly not what adulthood turned out to be, the joys of late night happy hour have since held a special place in my heart.

It is, by far, the better, happier of the two hours. Day time happy hours are too often full of corporate types socializing with their colleagues while their bosses try to avoid a lawsuit. Late night happy hours are for the people that operate outside of societal conventions, either out of necessity or rebellion. And I would argue that a thriving late night happy hour scene nods to a healthy, economically diverse demography. Or, at the very least, the city is full of weirdos and other night-dwelling denizens. And that, friends, is a good thing.

Late night happy hours are naughty. There are plenty of other pursuits to fill your time, especially on a weeknight. Like eating healthy, getting more sleep, or preparing to maximize shareholder value the next morning. But occasionally luxury is found in spite of the alternatives, and a late night happy hour is no exception.

And weeknights are the best times. Fridays and Saturdays have the tendency for drinking in excess, which is not the goal of a late night happy hour. The goal, rather, should be food and quiet contemplation. After all, it’s just for you. What friend would be so foolish to join you out for a 10 pm glass of wine on a weeknight? If you do have such a partner in crime, revel in their company. A book, however, is a great companion as well.

But which day? I posit Tuesdays are preferable. Mondays are too early in the week, the mind is full of high frequency noise. Wednesdays have their own oxygen, as the light begins to show and the weekend is peeped through the proverbial tunnel. You don’t need an excuse to go out on a Thursday - who even works on Fridays? So Tuesdays are ideal to add a little randomness and spontaneity in your life, reminding you the week, and your time, is still in fact yours.

Though we’re likely at a restaurant-first space, there are still rules. It should be a refined experience, upscale but not pretentious. The music shouldn’t be loud, the lighting should be dim. Sitting at the bar is a requirement. It’s likely less busy, so bantering with the bartender or the regulars is far more enjoyable. What to eat is fair game, but choose a drink carefully. Cocktails can be risky, one max and stick to something classic, though I prefer wine.

So friends, I’m scribbling this to you from a late night happy hour on a Sunday night in Seattle - I know I know, but what are rules? Unfortunately Seattle is somewhat bleak when it comes to late night happy hours, which aligns with my theory above because few would say the economics here are healthy. But there are a few to be found, so if you happen to be in Seattle here are my favorite late night spots: